Unique Venues (North of town)

Bringing the action up close and personal

By Taryn Plumb | GLOBE CORRESPONDENT

FEBRUARY 23, 2014

A Gothic chapel; a historic library; a sanctuary on the grounds of a rural cemetery; an 1850s carriage house.

Most of the time they sit as they have for centuries, silent and stately, relatively unchanging as the hurlyburly world goes on around them.

But occasionally these spaces bring forth the bold and rich tones of chamber music — cello, viola, violin, piano, fiddle, clarinet, harmonizing voices. Each one is periodically transformed into an intimate performance space for the Newburyport Chamber Music Festival.

“We love being able to use these smaller spaces,” said executive director Jane Niebling. “There’s no stage separating the musician from the audience. If you’re presenting chamber music, the closer you can get people to the action, the more exciting and engaging an experience it’s going to be for them.”

There’s of course something to be enjoyed in traditional performance halls with their grand, gilded architecture and plush seating, but all across the region — from Marlborough to Quincy to Newburyport — you’ll find classical plays, elegant music, and sumptuous dancing in pleasantly unexpected places.

A few local options include the New Moon Coffeehouse, which regularly offers a variety of artists and styles at the Universalist Unitarian Church of Haverhill; the Gloucester Lyceum and Sawyer Free Library, which hosts occasional concerts; and the Theater in the Open at Maudslay State Park in Newburyport, which uses the setting of the natural world for its productions.

Rockafellas restaurant in Salem even puts on a Latin dance party, taught by Greg Coles, every Wednesday night.

Meanwhile, the Newburyport Chamber Music Festival rotates its spring and summer concerts between St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, founded in 1711 (as well as a “stunning” Gothic chapel in its churchyard, according to Niebling); the 1835 Custom House Maritime Museum; the Newburyport Public Library, built in 1777; and the privately owned 1850 Farwell Clay Carriage House. This summer, it will also celebrate the grand opening of a “perfect little restored Greek temple” at Oak Hill Cemetery. The group also does outdoor concerts and open rehearsals in various spots throughout the city.

“That’s part of what we do, is put music into different spaces,” said Niebling. “Newburyport is all about architecture. There really aren’t any spaces that aren’t interesting, and that don’t have a personality. By moving around, we keep reintroducing people to these personalities, and try to make them as active as possible.”

To the south, another venue is bringing life to its community in a different way.

In Middleborough, a 100-plus-year-old space was recently transformed to The Alley Theatre, an extension of the adjacent Burt Wood School of Performing Arts. It derives its name from its history and its location: It was a bowling alley 103 years ago, according to owner Lorna Brunelle, and accessing it requires a walk down a chicly lit metropolitan alley.

Since opening in 2010, it’s hosted an amalgam of events, including its own theater shows and those of the local Theatre One Productions and Nemasket River Productions, as well as movie screenings and standup from Lenny Clarke and Steve Sweeney. Other events have included art shows, artist and wellness fairs, author signings, lectures, charity fund-raisers, pageants, dance lessons, magic, private and political functions, and even a “living zoo” during school vacation.

“It’s a little quaint space in Middleborough — until you walk in you don’t realize how cool a space it is, or the high-end acts we pull in,” said Brunelle. “We’re all in it together. We’re trying to keep theater alive, trying to keep entertainment alive.”

That’s a mission shared by its western neighbor, Marlborough-based Ghost Light Players.

The community theater group — which derives its name from the practice of leaving one light on in the theater when it’s “dark,” either for safety reasons or to appease its resident ghosts — strives to offer high-quality yet inexpensive theater for locals.

Now in its third season, it will present “Godspell” in May; past productions have included “Almost, Maine,” “The House of Blue Leaves,” and “Much Ado about Nothing.”

The latter included a ballroom scene of vignettes, with the audience incorporated.

“That’s an advantage of being a community theater,” said executive director Cliff Dike of Methuen. “You can take some artistic license, take some chances, to enjoy it more.”

Most shows are put on at First Church of Marlborough, but due to its growing popularity, the group is starting to look for a larger venue, Dike said.

“Live theater is one of the great art forms; it’s so unique,” he said. “We want to share that love with the community.”

Meanwhile, if you were to walk into the Thomas Crane Public Library in Quincy at this very moment, you would undoubtedly be struck by its magnificent floor-to-ceiling woodwork, graceful lighting, and stained-glass windows.

But at certain other times, it’s filled with the tones of cellos, guitars, flutes, drums, and harmonizing voices. For nearly 20 years the building, dating to 1882 and designed by architect Henry Hobson Richardson, has hosted concerts of every flavor, from classical, to jazz, to folk — even pop favorites.

But why music at the library (where we’re used to being shushed)?

It fits with its main priorities, according to assistant director and events coordinator Clayton Cheever, some of which include providing “engaging and enjoyable cultural and recreational experiences.”

Also, “if we can attract somebody to the library to hear music, then they can discover everything else we have to offer,” said Cheever.

Drawing in anywhere from 80 to 120 people, the library offers a July Thursday night concert series on the lawn and indoor concerts in the winter and spring on Sunday afternoons.

Performers have included cellist Luis Leguia, guitarist-flute duo Mark Leighton and Peter Bloom, and a Beatles cover band. An open mike group also meets there regularly.

“We are really gifted to live in a region that has so much high-caliber talent,” said Cheever. “Finding ways that it can be appreciated and made available to folks that maybe otherwise wouldn’t be exposed to it is a rewarding experience.”

Those are sentiments wholeheartedly shared by Niebling.

Of the Newburyport Chamber Music Festival’s various performance spots, she said, “I’m thrilled that these spaces are available, because it means we can avoid a conventional hall.

It’s important to us to bring high-end chamber music to Newburyport, and to make it as accessible and as intimate as possible.”

JOHN BLANDING/GLOBE STAFF

Original story link.

© 2014 BOSTON GLOBE MEDIA PARTNERS, LLC

Unique Venues (South of town)

Nontraditional venues keep the arts alive

By Taryn Plumb | GLOBE CORRESPONDENT

FEBRUARY 23, 2014

If you were to walk into the Thomas Crane Public Library in Quincy at this very moment, you would undoubtedly be struck by the silent and stately building’s magnificent floor-to-ceiling woodwork, stained-glass windows, and graceful lighting.

But at certain other times, the space emanates the beautiful and rich tones of cellos, guitars, flutes, drums, and harmonizing voices. For nearly 20 years the historic building has hosted concerts of every flavor, from classical, to jazz, to folk — even pop favorites.

“We are really gifted to live in a region that has so much high-caliber talent,” said the library’s assistant director and events coordinator, Clayton Cheever. “Finding ways that it can be appreciated and made available to folks that maybe otherwise wouldn’t be exposed to it is a rewarding experience.”

There is, of course, something to be enjoyed in traditional performance halls with their grand, gilded architecture and plush seating, but all across the region — from Marlborough to Quincy to Watertown — there are classical plays, elegant music, and sumptuous dancing in the most pleasantly unexpected places.

A few local options include Ventress Memorial Library in Marshfield, which offers regular concerts on weekends; the James Library and Center for the Arts in Norwell, whose picturesque Victorian building hosts anything from concert series, to classes, to art shows; and movies and concerts at Fort Revere in Hull in the summer.

Meanwhile, the Thomas Crane Public Library, dating to 1882 and designed by architect

Henry Hobson Richardson, puts on a July Thursday night concert series on the lawn and indoor concerts during the winter and spring on Sunday afternoons. Drawing anywhere from 80 to 120 people, performers have included cellist Luis Leguia, guitarist-flute duo Mark Leighton and Peter Bloom, and a Beatles cover band. An open mike group also meets there regularly.

But why music at the library?

It fits in with its main priorities, according to Cheever, some of which include providing engaging and enjoyable cultural and recreational experiences, stimulating imagination, and satisfying curiosity.

“If we can attract somebody to the library to hear music, then they can discover everything else we have to offer,” he said.

For its spring and summer concerts, the Newburyport Chamber Music Festival transforms its city’s historic structures into intimate performance spaces.

“We love being able to use these smaller spaces,” said executive director Jane Niebling.

“There’s no stage separating the musician from the audience. If you’re trying to present chamber music, the closer you can get people to the music, the action, the more exciting and engaging an experience it’s going to be for them.”

Its venues include St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, founded in 1711 (as well as a “stunning” Gothic chapel in its churchyard, according to Niebling); the 1835 Custom House Maritime Museum; the Newburyport Public Library, built in 1777; and the privately owned 1850 Farwell Clay Carriage House. The group also plays outdoor concerts and open rehearsals in various locations throughout the city.

“That’s part of what we do, is put music into different spaces,” said Niebling. “Newburyport is all about architecture. There really aren’t any spaces that aren’t interesting, and that don’t have a personality. By moving around, we keep reintroducing people to these personalities, and try to make them as active as possible.”

Down the coast in Salem, Rockafellas restaurant puts on a Latin dance party, taught by Greg Coles, every Wednesday night.

Meanwhile, on a recent evening in Watertown, a slipper-clad audience of several dozen clapped, smiled, and bobbed their heads along to the rollicking folk show put on by two fiddlers, a guitarist, and a dancer. Afterwards, they mingled and enjoyed dessert with the players, known as 4tet.

It was indeed a cozy venue: They were not on a stage or in a club, but instead in the parlor of a home, participating in an underground niche known as “house concerts.”

It is just as it sounds. People open up their homes to professional touring musicians, then invite friends, colleagues, and others in the community to come and enjoy (with suggested donations, 100 percent of which go to the players).

Guests are “exposed to some very high-caliber professional musicians in an intimate setting,” said Jeff Boudreau of Arlington, who has organized more than 100 house concerts at various locations since 2007.

“Artists who come to this series generally don’t play at other commercial venues in the Boston area,” he said.

In addition to providing that unique experience for locals, the concept allows musicians to essentially perform live rehearsals and try out newer material; they are also given a night of lodging, and can make anywhere from $500 to $1,000 from donations, Boudreau said. In his series, presented through “notloB Parlour Concerts,” Boudreau has brought in musicians such as the Montreal-based Bombadils, the Tattletale Saints of New Zealand, and 10 String Symphony of Nashville, among numerous others.

The current home that hosts the concerts, which belongs to Boudreau’s house concert co-organizer, can hold 40-plus music lovers, and audience members exchange their outdoor shoes for slippers and bring desserts to share.

“The best feedback I get is the returns,” said Boudreau. “Filling the available seats is becoming easier and easier with every concert.”

To the south, another more public venue is bringing life to its community in a different way.

In Middleborough, a 100-plus-year-old space was recently transformed to The Alley Theatre, an extension of the adjacent Burt Wood School of Performing Arts.

It derives its name from both its history and its location: It was a bowling alley 103 years ago, according to owner Lorna Brunelle, and accessing it today requires a walk down a chicly-lit, metropolitan alley. Since opening in 2010, it has hosted an amalgam of events, including its own theater shows and those of Theatre One Productions and Nemasket River Productions, as well as movie screenings (most recently the documentary “The Bridgewater Triangle”), and stand-up from Lenny Clarke and Steve Sweeney. Other events have included art shows, artist and wellness fairs, author signings, lectures, charity fund-raisers, pageants, dance lessons, magic, private and political functions, and even a “living zoo” during school vacation.

“It’s a little quaint space in Middleborough — until you walk in you don’t realize how cool a space it is, or the high-end acts we pull in,” said Brunelle. “We’re all in it together. We’re trying to keep theater alive, trying to keep entertainment alive.”

DEBEE TLUMACKI FOR THE BOSTON GLOBE

Original story link.

© 2014 BOSTON GLOBE MEDIA PARTNERS, LLC

Unique Venues (West of town)

Find music, theater in unlikely places

By Taryn Plumb | GLOBE CORRESPONDENT

FEBRUARY 23, 2014

At the front of the room, two fiddlers emphatically bounced their bows along the strings of their instruments, a guitarist plucked his acoustic, and a step-dancer tapped and jigged in time.

Their slipper-clad audience of several dozen clapped, smiled, and bobbed their heads along to the rollicking folk music — then mingled and enjoyed dessert with the ensemble, 4TET.

It was indeed a cozy venue: They weren’t on a stage or in a club, but instead in the parlor of a Watertown home on a recent weeknight, participating in a lesser-known performance niche known as “house concerts.”

The audiences are “exposed to some very high-caliber professional musicians in an intimate setting,” said Jeff Boudreau, who helped organize the event and has been hosting house concerts at various locations since 2007. “Artists who come to this series generally don’t play at other commercial venues in the Boston area. It’s generally the only opportunity patrons will have to see them.”

There is of course something to be enjoyed in traditional performance halls, with their grand, gilded architecture and plush seating, but all across the region — from Marlborough to Quincy to Newburyport — you’ll find classical plays, elegant music, and sumptuous dancing in the most pleasantly unexpected places.

A few local options include Uncommon Coffeehouse in Framingham, which regularly offers live, acoustic music of all varieties; the Lexington Historical Society’s Colonial Singers, who, in period dress, perform marches, drinking songs, hymns, fife-and-drum tunes, and other traditional pieces at such locations as Buckman Tavern, the Hancock-Clarke House, and the Munroe Tavern; and the Jam’n Java Open Mic at Kickstand Cafe, on the first Friday of every month in Arlington.

Meanwhile, Boudreau’s house concerts are just as they sound: People open up their homes to professional touring musicians, then invite friends, colleagues, and others in the community to come on over (with suggested donations, 100 percent of which goes to the players).

In addition to providing an unusual experience for the audience, house concerts allow musicians to essentially perform live rehearsals and try out newer material; they are also given a night of lodging, and can make anywhere from $500 to $1,000 from donations, Boudreau said.

In his series, presented through “notloB Parlour Concerts,” Boudreau has brought in musicians such as the Montreal-based Bombadils, the Tattletale Saints of New Zealand, and 10 String Symphony of Nashville, among numerous others.

The Watertown home (belonging to Boudreau’s house concert fellow organizer) that was hosting 4TET can hold 40-plus visitors, who exchange their outdoor shoes for slippers and bring desserts to share, too.

“The best feedback I get is the returns,” said Boudreau. “Filling the available seats is becoming easier and easier with every concert.”

For its spring and summer concerts, the Newburyport Chamber Music Festival transforms the city’s historic structures into intimate performance venues.

“We love being able to use these smaller spaces,” said executive director Jane Niebling. “There’s no stage separating the musician from the audience. If you’re trying to present chamber music, the closer you can get people to the music, the action, the more exciting and engaging an experience it’s going to be for them.”

Its concert locations include St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, founded in 1711 (as well as a “stunning” Gothic chapel in its churchyard, according to Niebling); the 1835 Custom House Maritime Museum; the Newburyport Public Library, built in 1777; and the privately owned 1850 Farwell Clay Carriage House. The organization also holds outdoor concerts and open rehearsals in various spots throughout the city.

“That’s part of what we do, is put music into different spaces,” said Niebling. “Newburyport is all about architecture. There really aren’t any spaces that aren’t interesting, and that don’t have a personality. By moving around, we keep reintroducing people to these personalities, and try to make them as active as possible.”

Down the coast in Salem, Rockafellas restaurant puts on a Latin dance party, taught by Greg Coles, every Wednesday night.

And farther to the south, another venue is bringing life to its community in a different way.

In Middleborough, a 100-plus-year-old space was recently transformed to the Alley Theatre, an extension of the adjacent Burt Wood School of Performing Arts.

It derives its name from both its history and its location: It was a bowling alley 103 years ago, according to owner Lorna Brunelle, and reaching it today requires a walk down a chicly lighted metropolitan alley.

Since opening in 2010, it has hosted an amalgam of events, including its own theater shows and those of locals Theatre One Productions and Nemasket River Productions, movie screenings, and standup by nationally known comedians Lenny Clarke and Steve Sweeney.

“It’s a little, quaint space in Middleborough; until you walk in, you don’t realize how cool a space it is, or the high-end acts we pull in,” said Brunelle. “We’re all in it together. We’re trying to keep theater alive, trying to keep entertainment alive.”

It’s a mission shared by the Marlborough-based Ghost Light Players.

The community theater group — which derives its name from the practice of leaving one light on in a theater when it’s “dark,” either for safety reasons or to appease resident ghosts — strives to offer high-quality yet inexpensive productions for area residents.

Now in its third season, the Ghost Light Players will present “Godspell” in May; past productions have included “Almost, Maine,” “The House of Blue Leaves,” and “Much Ado About Nothing.”

The latter includes a ballroom scene of vignettes, and the whole audience was incorporated.

“That’s an advantage of being a community theater,” said executive producer Cliff Dike, who lives in Methuen. “You can take some artistic license, take some chances, to enjoy it more.”

Most shows are put on at First Church in Marlborough on High Street, although the group is starting to look for a larger venue.

“Live theater is one of the great art forms; it’s so unique,” said Dike. “We want to share that love with the community.”

Meanwhile, if you were to walk into the Thomas Crane Public Library in Quincy, you would undoubtedly be struck by its magnificent floor-to-ceiling woodwork, graceful lighting, and stained-glass window.

But at certain times, it’s also filled with the tones of cellos, guitars, flutes, drums, and harmonizing voices.

For nearly 20 years the historical building, which dates to 1882 and was designed by architect Henry Hobson Richardson, has hosted concerts of every flavor, from classical to jazz to folk — even pop favorites.

But why music at the library?

It fits in with its main priorities, according to assistant director and events coordinator Clayton Cheever, some of which include providing “engaging and enjoyable cultural and recreational experiences,” “stimulating imagination,” and “satisfying curiosity.”

Also, “if we can attract somebody to the library to hear music, then they can discover everything else we have to offer,” said Cheever.

“We are really gifted to live in a region that has so much high-caliber talent,” added Cheever.

“Finding ways that it can be appreciated and made available to folks that maybe otherwise wouldn’t be exposed to it is a rewarding experience.”

Original story link.

© 2014 BOSTON GLOBE MEDIA PARTNERS, LLC

Expressing the collective grief through song and prose

Two local works of art deal with Marathon bombings

By Taryn Plumb | GLOBE CORRESPONDENT

FEBRUARY 13, 2014

The contralto took a deep breath, began to sing — and then her voice cracked.

Her eyes welled as she read the lyrics on her music score.

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth Anker said, shaking her head during a rehearsal in a Watertown attic. “I’d better cry now.”

The piece that compelled the Jamaica Plain singer to tears, written by Newton composer Francine Trester and titled “Rescue,” refers to a quote by Fred Rogers that reassures that, whenever something scary happens, look for the helpers, who will always be there.

As the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings draws closer, locals are confronting the tumble of emotions provoked by the shocking attack last year that resulted in three deaths, hundreds of injuries, and immobilization of the city and its suburbs.

Two projects have set those varying dimensions of feeling to music, lyrics, and prose: Trester’s six-song piece, “A View from Heartbreak Hill,” and the 40-minute play “The Psalms Project: Mile 25.8,” written by Lexington Christian Academy theater director Christopher Greco.

Both of the complex and emotional projects will be performed for the public in several events leading up to the April 21 Marathon.

“There were some concerns — was it too soon?” Greco acknowledged. But “the stories that we’re telling could only be told between last year’s Marathon and this year’s Marathon.”

Performed by 16 academy students, “The Psalms Project: Mile 25.8,” weaves excerpts from seven Biblical psalms with the stories of several local people directly impacted by the Marathon. Those include a spectator and a runner who was stopped less than a half-mile from the finish line (the mile marker referenced in the play’s name).

Using those remembrances with psalms, the play moves back and forth between the contemporary world and the ancient. The set is abstract and constantly transforms, Greco explained, with the use of such props as a doorway on wheels and a large blue tarp that mutates from turbulent waters to the sky to the Marathon finish line.

“These are stories of people that are a part of our community,” said Greco. “It is our story to tell. It couldn’t be any more contemporary or urgent.”

And, although he noted that the town of Lexington wasn’t officially locked down, many of the school’s students were, and the school year launched with lock-down drills.

“This is very much alive in our school community and in the psyche of our students and faculty,” he said.

As is also the case for Trester. Her songs, which are somber, sprightly, questioning, and hopeful, “represent the arc of what I experienced,” said the composer, who is a professor at Berklee College of Music. “I had so many emotions in the aftermath.”

Written for a trio of viola, piano, and contralto, the aptly titled piece takes its name from the half-mile ascent in Newton between the 20- and 21-mile markers, where many runners report fatigue.

The cycle starts out with “Speechless,” based on the Department of Homeland Security’s “If you see something, say something” campaign.

Clustered around a Steinway grand in pianist Lois Shapiro’s Watertown attic on a recent afternoon, Anker, Shapiro, and violist Scott Woolweaver worked their way through the stark and sobering song. (Violist Melissa Howe of Lexington and pianist John McDonald of Medford will serve as substitutes at some performances.)

Woolweaver’s bow bobbed lightly over his instrument, plucking out low tones; both complementing and intentionally clashing with Shapiro’s high, staccato notes.

“Say something, anything,” Anker sang. “Well – what is there to say?”

After this line, the final piano note faded in the still, quiet studio.

“Tough stuff,” Woolweaver said finally.

Meanwhile, “Lockdown” the next song in the cycle, illustrates just that; Trester describes how her neighbor’s fat striped cat was able to explore the outside world while all the humans were trapped indoors during the manhunt for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

“It was unsettling, unnatural, and unreal,” she recalled.

“Transit” portrays Trester’s first commute to work after the bombings, when things were supposed to be getting back to normal, a feeling shattered when the driver announced that Copley Station was closed down until further notice; “Still” describes a beautiful spring day at the park, but with flags notably remaining at half-mast; and “Out” expresses anger and outrage at the death of a child.

Responding to a tweet attributed to suspect Tsarnaev, “A decade in America already, I want out,” Trester wrote, “Martin Richards, at 8 years old, spent less than a decade in America, on this earth, denied the choice of ‘out’ or ‘in,’ a luxury deciding if life is worth the living.”

“The sonorities are so beautiful, expressive, and rich,” said Shapiro, seated at her piano, also describing the songs as “prosaic and poetic.

“It’s nice to have a piece that takes us all beyond, but not denying the reality of what happened. It’s a blend of complicated stuff, yet there’s a beacon that stands out in each piece.”

A sense of hope is also something Greco strives to instill with his play.

It ultimately offers a “buoyancy and lightness,” celebrating willpower, human capability, overcoming fears, and the essential human need for support.

“Even though we’re capable of great feats, at the same time we really need help and support,” Greco said. “There’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in coming to the end of yourself and needing to lean on a higher power or another person. It’s a humane and encouraging picture of what it means to persevere.”

“The Psalms Project: Mile 25.8” will be presented at 7 p.m. on Feb. 20, 21, and 22 at The Cross Center at Lexington Christian Academy. Advance tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for non-Academy students; tickets at the door are $12.

“A View from Heartbreak Hill” will be performed at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 20 at Berklee College of Music; 2 p.m. on March 2 at the Newton Free Library; and at 6 p.m. on April 10 at Harvard University.

Photos by Joanne Rathe/Globe Staff

Original story link. Photo slideshow.

© 2014 BOSTON GLOBE MEDIA PARTNERS, LLC

The Great Disconnect

How to keep technology from interfering with family bonds

By Taryn Plumb| GLOBE CORRESPONDENT

FEBRUARY 13, 2014

"Hold on!”

The continued tapping of keys.

“Can’t you see the game’s on?”

An abrupt hand gesture to signify “Stop.”

“You know, I never get private time anymore!”

Absolute silence.

When prompted with a “Hey dad?” or a “Mom, can you help me out with something?” these were the responses a group of fifth-graders reported receiving when attempting to get their parents’ attention while the adults were absorbed in e-mail, text messages, apps, games, or television. The 10- and 11-year-olds, students at the Glen Urquhart School in Beverly, ticked off the reactions with a mixture of bemusement, bewilderment, and annoyance during a special assembly at the private K-8 day school.
“Your parents love you, of course they do,” guest speaker Catherine Steiner-Adair, a psychologist and author, stressed to the small group. “Grown-ups are struggling, just like kids are struggling, to get control of who they are online.”

We’re all guilty of it. Whether in the car, enjoying the outdoors, gathering with friends, or eating dinner with the family, our devices have an indelible pull. (“Did I ever answer that text?” “What’s everybody up to on Facebook?” “Have I earned more lives to play another round of Candy Crush Saga?”)

And, much as their elders say “it’s these kids nowadays,” it is clear that parents are just as culpable as their children when it comes to having obsessive relationships with their phones, tablets, MP3 players, and computers.

“The intrusion is really hard to manage,” said Yoshi Campbell, a Gloucester other who has a sixth-grader at Glen Urquhart.

If your phone goes off — as it inevitably will — when you are spending time with your children, you do not want to break that real-time experience, she said, but you also want to keep up with friends and work responsibilities, and not be rude or unresponsive.

According to research company eMarketer, US adults spend 12 hours and 5 minutes a day with various media. That includes multitasking in which, for example, one hour of watching television while spending that same hour online was counted as two hours. Meanwhile, children ages 8 to 18 spend 10 hours and 45 minutes a day plugged into something, based on a study by the Kaiser Family Foundation. Kaiser’s study found 29 percent of that time was spent multitasking, putting the total media-use time for children at seven hours and 38 minutes in a 24-hour day.

“We all are spending less time with one another,” said Steiner-Adair, author of“The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age,” during a talk with parents in Beverly. Technology has us constantly putting others on pause, she said, and thus can interfere with the parent-child bond.

Melrose mother Anita Meyer admitted that she has used the dismissive and “awful” phrase “Just a minute!” when she has been on the phone and her 6-year-old daughter has tried to get her attention.

“Connection trumps technology every single time,” she said. “Be thoughtful, be informed, connect. And teach your child to be and do all those things.”

Kids need genuine contact Steiner-Adair told a crowd of a few dozen parents at Glen Urquhart on a recent morning. As a mom or a dad, you want to be approachable.

“Children thrive in families where they feel they’re connected,” she said. “Technology doesn’t love your children.”

There are definitive actions people can take to control technology in their household, rather than having it control them, she said.

To start, if you need to respond to e-mails in the morning, do it before the kids get up, so you can spend time with them before school, Steiner-Adair said. And after school, do not let children get into the habit of immediately immersing themselves in computer or video games. Dinner is a no-brainer, she said: Set a no-device-at-the-table policy and stick to it.

Likewise, do not let your children take their phones or tablets to bed; collect them from each family member and secure them away for the night.

In the car, meanwhile, put all devices away, and take the opportunity to talk, relax, play educational games, daydream, or just adjust to the “ambient quiet.” On the weekends

Consider setting aside a dedicated block of “nontech” time, she said.

When it comes to social media, Steiner-Adair said, do not be “friends” with your children on Facebook, because that is awkward for everybody. But do try to know their password to be able to check in on their activities once in a while — just do not get overbearing about it.

“The most important resource that you have, by [the time they’re in] seventh or eighth grade,” Steiner-Adair said, “is your relationship with your child.”

She posed similar points in speaking with students.

How can they calm themselves after school? Read a book; play sports; dance; hang out with friends. Anything that does not involve an electronic screen.

“Games distract you, but they don’t calm you down,” she told a group of about 30 fifth-graders seated before her. “They stimulate you. They rev you up.”

She also cautioned them to be mindful of what they say and do online, noting the permanency of their actions. While impressions made in the sand wash away or fade with time, she said, a person’s digital footprint stays with them forever.

“Listen up,” she said. “Since you are in fifth grade now, we’re hoping that you will begin to break this cycle of staying on screens all the time.”

Still, she recognized that it is not all mindless time-stealing. She acknowledged to parents that there is a “wonderful educational use for technology.” The difficulty is helping children safely tap into that, rather than getting lost in it.

It is a “tremendous challenge” to figure out how to use technology in a managed and responsible way, said Kristin Cotter of Beverly, whose 5- and 6-year-olds are prospective students at Glen Urquhart.

Although she said her family plays board games every day after school, she allows her children 30 minutes of “Netflix time.”

“It is teaching them how to relax with a screen,” she said. “Should I be doing that?”

Campbell said it is disturbing how intimate a relationship people can have with their smartphones. All members of her household have some sort of device, she said, but her family does spend quality time together, including playing outside.

The goal is to keep things that way.

“We all need to have a serious and honest conversation,” Campbell said. “Create some boundaries, preserve that real connection that we all value as a family.”

How children spend their time

FEBRUARY 13, 2014

When multitasking (using more than one device at once) is factored in, US kids age 8 to 18 spend 10 hours 45 minutes a day with entertainment media.

US adults spend 12 hours and 5 minutes a day on media devices.

Among the 82 million Millennials age 16-34, 72% use MP3 players; 67% gaming platforms; 59% smartphones; and 42% watch TV online.

For every 1,720 minutes teens spend in front of screens at home, they’ll spend 40 minutes interacting with a grown-up.

In a poll of sixth- to 12-graders, the most common terms used to describe parents were “scary,” “crazy” and “clueless.”

Sources: The Boston Consulting Group, eMarketer, the Kaiser Family Foundation, Catherine Steiner-Adair.

Photos by Pat Greenhouse/Globe Staff

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